This book is written by Shaunti Feldhahn along with Lisa Rice, and is published by Multnomah. She also knows that this kind of information is out there. Now I will say that going outside of my marriage is not even an option for me. I feel like my wife does not appreciate me at all. I am actually leaving, filed for divorce which will soon be final. Most of the men I talked with crave a retreat from the daily pressure of always having to perform. To a man, nothing sounds sweeter.
But if you want this to change, then you need help. That is not what women need. I think you will find they are higher on feeling unappreciated and lower on straying. I pray that she will reconsider her values and your relationship will improve. I do my best to be a good spiritual leader by doing devotions but I feel like she never pays attention or does not want to do them. No one is perfect and men and women need to forgive one another, and not cheat to find affirmation. It may be good to contact the ministry of Focus on the Family — at focusonthefamily.
By staunchly supporting our men, showing that we believe in them, and providing an emotionally safe environment to come home to, we can help give them at least the emotional confidence they need to dive back into the daily workplace fray. When a man is affirmed, he can conquer the world. I have felt very guilty about this and have been questioning my part. She makes me feel unloved and unwanted. I do not believe a wife can fill a man who is empty inside. I am married now 36 years… we have 2 grown children.
Create a safety zone Obviously, if many of our men spend their workdays feeling like they are always being watched and judged, it is no wonder that they want to come home to a totally accepting environment, where they can safely let their guard down. When we are feeling loved we are more open to suggestion. Or he may retreat to his workshop or his home office. He has quite the deal going. I know my husband appreciates me and I feel I dote on my husband and he still needs more. He may spend more hours at work, where he feels alive and on top of his game. And there are plenty of devious women out there who know how to spot a guy who is looking for it.
He may feel like he can control things there even if he feels inadequate and clumsy elsewhere. Speaking about his mother, he wrote: Perhaps the greatest single gift she gave me was self-confidence. He said that for an example when he troubleshooted and fixed the pressure washer that I should have praised him. . She repeatedly rejects me when I attempt to initiate any sort of intimacy.
At home when he does something I ask I always tell him thank you. You need to get unstuck from this destructive behaviour —both on his part and yours. She was the exact opposite. For whatever reason, they feel like less than a man, so they seek —and find! I never yell at him or make him feel as if he has done wrong. I did try but his only solution was for me to engage with him sexually…trust me I tried it repeatedly and he was never able to give on his part and his behavior never changed.
In this book she reveals the findings her research so women can better understand and interact with the men in their lives. She puts housework before me as well as yard work. I just stay silent and hurting. She always criticizes me for the smallest things and reminds me of my screw ups not matter how big or small. But I feel that same way at home when my wife applauds me for bringing in a big business deal. The truth is men are just as complex as women and have needs too. She expects me to notice everything she does.
He is the product of an over-protective mother, a domineering father, was bullied at school as a child and sexually abused by a family friend. Well, I think if a man is looking so much for affirmation that he will destroy his relationship with his wife, there is something wrong; he has not grown up to be a very confident, trustworthy or strong man. Hey both genders make mistakes. We do have a 2 year old which can be exhausting at times. We each have to find ourselves. Husband sleeps in to 9:30-10:30am every weekend because he said he deserves it for working hard.
Even so, I feel that I should have handled things better, been open instead of becoming resentful and being passive aggressive. I get up with our child 7 days a week so she can sleep in. We show love by our efforts. If we really want honesty and we want to make our marriage a safe place to share, then we need to be careful of backing each other up into corners. But in many ways, it is up to us to create the intimate, safe environment that makes that possible. I rub her feet for her almost everyday.
I want someone to care for me too. He can bring home some type of disease and pass it onto you. He says that he felt undervalued. Knowing how to get along with other people, especially our partners is of foremost importance. Flattery is simply a seductive counterfeit for affirmation.