If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Q: What did the tie say to the hat? Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? Q: Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? So he says, 'Every time you are told a defect tell, you write it down, but then the subbie yells out the window 'Green side up. I couldn't put it down. Want to hear a clean joke? A: Kitty Perry Q: What did the pencile say to the other pencil? Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with the Godfather? Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day? A: Two's company, three's a cloud Q: Why did the balloon burst? Q: Why does a hummingbird hum? I wonder if earth makes fun of other planets for having no life. A: To get a tweetment. Person 1: Wooden shoe like to hear another joke? A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less. Q: Why are chefs so mean? A: A Mer-Maid Q: Where do pencils go on vacation? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom? Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? Q: What do you call a pile of kittens A: a meowntain Q: What goes up and down but doesn't move? Q: What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Two silk worms had a race.
Q: What do you get when you plant kisses? The American thought he would have a joke on his Irish companion. Q: What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Person 1: Justin time for dinner! Q: What did the man say to the wall? Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: O I C U Q: What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A: Put a little boogey in it! Q: What do you call a house that likes food? Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: People kept pushing its buttons. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? A: Because his friend said dinner is on me. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A: Pop music Q: What did the judge say to the dentist? A: Bridge over troubled water.
Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public? After that its not empty! Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game? Q: What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Q: What did the man say to the wall? A: They sit next to their fans. Q: What did the digital watch say to his grandfather? Q: Where does bad light go? Q: What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement. Q: What dog keeps the best time? Q: What music are balloons scared of? Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? I said 'I wouldn't do it if you paid me. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments. A: A Mer-Maid Q: Whens the best time to go to the dentist? Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney? You put a little boogie in it. Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?.
Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? A: All that time and nothing to chauffeur it. It went on like this every weekday for months. Q: How do you communicate with a fish? Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? My sister bet me a £1,000,000 that I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta. Q: Who can shave 10 times a day and still have a beard? Matt is a teaching fellow and doctoral candidate studying Church History at the Catholic University of America and is the advancement director for a local Catholic high school. You go on ahead and I'll hang around Q: What washes up on very small beaches? Q: Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school? Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Q: Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases? Dave Barry's 50 Years of Experience Men, Manners. Clean Short Jokes Clean Short Jokes is the source for a long laugh, fueled by a short joke. Q: Did you hear about the paper boy? Person 1: Lettuce in, it's cold out here! Q: Why did the insomniac man get arrested? Q: What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? Q: What does a nosey pepper do? Q: Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? Q: What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day? Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America? Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks.
According to a news report, a certain private school in Brisbane was recently faced with a unique problem. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. A: Because he wanted to see time fly! I wish the buck stopped here. A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes. Terry returns inside to chase it out. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
Q: How many books can you put in an empty backpack? Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. If money dosnt grow on trees why do banks have branches? Q: What does the Lone Ranger say when he takes out the garbage? Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish. A: So he could have sweet dreams. A few nights later, the cook prepared the chickens for dinner.
He's a couple of miles back up the trail,' the successful hunter replies. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it? Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Did you hear about the farmer who fed his cows birdseed and started selling cheep milk A butcher goes on a first date and says 'It was nice meating you' two lumps of vomit are flying through the air one says to the other ''you look upset'' the other one says ''I know i was brought up around here.
Q: Why does a hummingbird hum? Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on? A: Make me one with everything. The advantage of exercising every day is so, when you die, they'll say, 'Well, he looks good, doesn't he? Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? Any chance you have something? Q: What is the best day to go to the beach? Q: Where do bulls get their messages? Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Neither, they both weigh a ton! A: He was booed off stage. Their screams and clucks woke the Patriots and they were able to defeat and capture the entire group of British soldiers. Q: When do you stop at green and go at red? I wonder if earth makes fun of other planets for having no life. The taxi arrives, and as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. Q: Why did the dog do so well in school? Q: Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin? A: To draw the curtains! He looked out over them as they sat and waited expectantly. Got a sweetie with a sense of humor? The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. What does it tell you? She happens to be a swimsuit model.
Q: What do you call a house that likes food? Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I thought you were bringing her back. Q: What did the alien say to the garden? I said 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin'. A: He got stuck in Orbit. Q: Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Without humor this would be a lot harder. Q: Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? A: Because then it would be a foot! A: Nacho Cheese Q: What streets do ghosts haunt? George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? Q: What happens if life gives you melons? Q: Why don't skeletons fight each other? A kid jumped into a mud puddle.