Be the change you want to see in the world. He is vile and not like his precious Fakebook, he cares for nobody yet he needs the admiration constantly. In a self-sustaining ecosystem, all parts are dependent. After he discarded her, she was extremely traumatized. Oh my, I know some of what you are going through.
I figured this out a long time ago with the narcissist in my life. Healthy persons in relationship communicate about feelings and set boundaries. The reason is because they have lost control. That is what is so amazing about it. He needs to create drama so he can experience the power of manipulating our emotions. The Gray Rock technique does come with a caveat: psychopaths are dangerous people, if you are in a relationship with one that has already decided to kill you, it will be difficult to change his mind. Things have been pretty normal.
This is especially true if they have broken all the rules, all the boundaries, and continue to hoover you suck you back in, like the dirt machine with the same brand name without respects your time, your emotions, and your feelings. That is why people who opt for the usual ways of dealing with narcissists often fail in trying to free themselves from their influence. The psychopath presents a and you see through it. Life is too short to give so many chances to people who only care about themselves. You are speaking the truth in a clear, unequivocal way and making a powerful stand against Narcissists suckling the life force energy from their victims. As you can see from the above example, even grocery shopping is fraught with dangers. The Gray Rock technique does come with a caveat: psychopaths are dangerous people, if you are in a relationship with one that has already decided to kill you, it will be difficult to change his mind.
Should I Involve My Children? But no, a poor avoidant who lies and builds a succesful facade to lure partners in is perfectly fine, a co-dependant who cries crocodile tears in order to make you provide validation and intimacy, only to discard you later when the schizoid traits kick in. Its not a simple request. In fact, when you leave a psychopath, he becomes determined to punish you even more severely for thinking you could be autonomous. Just report and move on. It can mean that you talk incessantly — about the weather or the different styles of flip flops that are available at walmart right now.
He or she needs constant stimulation to ward off boredom. Most likely, he will slither away to find a new toy. With time, he will find a new person to provide drama and he will find himself drawn to you less and less often. Leave a comment below to share your experiences with other people who are in the same boat. None of them attract your attention. Yes, you may still have feelings for them.
Being polite is fine as long as you know where polite ends and people pleasing and open book stuff begins. Nothing that would be personal — even if the narc begs you for it. Parents sharing joint custody with a psychopathic ex-spouse can use Gray Rock when the ex-spouse tries to trigger their emotions. When one assumes the proverbial position of choosing the path of kindness in all words, deeds, and actions, people who are fundamentally unkind as well as selfish and uncaring about other people by nature tend to balk. I need a lot of support. This did alarm me but I stayed until he completely lost the plot one horrible day.
Tell them you are boring. Psychopaths need to feel in control at all times. The other danger I see is the fine line between becoming a grey rock and becoming a dead spirit. This goes for anyone and not just spaths. Dont let him try to hang that bit of bait out to you because its what you want so bad. If we stay the course and show no emotions, the psychopath will eventually decide that his toy is broken. Just like Jeff C said — there are no boundaries with abusers.
Losing control or power over a person is not just a narcissistic injury for them; they feel profoundly empty when their partner leaves them — even if they had intended to kill their partner. He needs to know that we are still eager to do his bidding, make him happy and avoid his wrath. If the threats seem genuine, seek the protection and guidance of the police, the courts, and the social authorities. Or is it the person who claims to be healthy using the manipulative technique? And I hope that is not what happens in your case. No wonder 5 counselors over the course of my marriage made so little difference.